{"id":434,"date":"2018-11-14T12:33:41","date_gmt":"2018-11-14T12:33:41","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/uniofglos.blog\/equality\/?p=434"},"modified":"2024-05-15T08:02:42","modified_gmt":"2024-05-15T08:02:42","slug":"you-dont-have-to-fully-understand-what-being-transgender-is-like-you-just-have-to-respect-me","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/sites.glos.ac.uk\/equity\/2018\/11\/14\/you-dont-have-to-fully-understand-what-being-transgender-is-like-you-just-have-to-respect-me\/","title":{"rendered":"You just have to respect me."},"content":{"rendered":"

Hi <\/span><\/p>\n

This week we have a guest blogger, Eli. Eli is a Level 6 Illustration student currently working as an intern within the team. This is a very timely post as we mark Transgender Awareness Week<\/span><\/p>\n

When you call me by my old name, my birth name, it may not mean a lot to you, but to me it is a reminder that I haven\u2019t always been who I am today. It reminds me of the past which was full of anxiety and depression and hopelessness as I felt trapped and unsure why I felt so lost within myself. When you call me by my old name or pronouns it tells me that you don\u2019t accept or respect me.<\/span><\/p>\n

Of course everyone makes mistakes, and people call me by my birth-name by mistake, and I won\u2019t be angry at you if it was an accident. Just quickly correct yourself and we can move on. Don\u2019t make a big fuss and draw attention to it, just say my correct name or pronouns so I, and everyone around me, knows the correct way to address me.<\/span><\/p>\n

Terminology is so important. You may use words which seem harmless to you, but could cause offense. Calling my birth-name my \u201creal name\u201d is a common thing said to me, it is never meant in a negative way. However \u201creal name\u201d says to me that my new name, is a fake name or that I am lying to you, when I\u2019m actually, finally, living my true authentic self.<\/span><\/p>\n

Equally, never ask me about my birth-name or old pronouns or ask to see old pictures of me. Most trans people are uncomfortable with this and we will tell you or show you if we want to.<\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019m not here for your entertainment, my trans-ness is not a party trick. If you don\u2019t know my birth-name it eliminates the chance that you may accidentally call me it. If I don\u2019t show you old photos I know you are seeing me as I am now and not as the \u201clittle girl\u201d I was many years ago.<\/span><\/p>\n

It\u2019s always best to say \u2018assigned female at birth\u2019 instead of \u201cwhen you were a girl\u201d as it gets rid of the implication that I have changed gender, when, in fact, I have just changed the gender I identify as. I was always male, it just took me a while to work it out. <\/span><\/p>\n

If you don\u2019t know my correct name or pronouns, just ask. It\u2019s always better to ask the person themselves than assuming, with anything. If you don\u2019t understand something that you feel you need to know, ask, but also respect that some trans people do not like to answer questions, especially personal ones. <\/span><\/p>\n

When I started at this university we were all asked for our preferred name and if anyone didn\u2019t know, they asked what my pronouns are. It wasn\u2019t purely aimed at trans people, it was also to see if anyone has a nickname they prefer, but it meant that I could cross out my old name and not have to worry. I think this should be common practice, to ask someone\u2019s name and maybe even pronouns instead of assuming it is the same as on a form you may have read. It\u2019s these small acts that make a big difference.<\/span><\/p>\n

This is especially important if the trans person wants to live stealth, this means they live as the gender they are, the gender they have transitioned to, without anyone knowing that they are transgender. Using an old name for this person would be \u2018outing\u2019 them and letting others know they are trans. Never out someone, even if you think they are open about being trans, it\u2019s up to us who knows, and when. <\/span><\/p>\n

We often feel powerless in our transition as we have little control over our bodies and how we are seen, but we have power over what are names and pronouns are and we have power over who knows our stories and journeys.<\/span><\/p>\n

I have chosen to share these points to help educate people, especially as this week is trans awareness week and soon it is transgender day of remembrance.<\/span><\/p>\n

We are just people, trying to go about our everyday lives, just like you. <\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/span><\/p>\n

Below are links to more information. <\/span><\/p>\n

https:\/\/transequality.org\/issues\/resources\/frequently-asked-questions-about-transgender-people<\/a><\/p>\n

https:\/\/www.genderbread.org\/<\/a><\/p>\n

Resources for trans people<\/span><\/p>\n

https:\/\/www.stonewall.org.uk\/help-advice\/coming-out\/coming-out-adult-1<\/a><\/p>\n

http:\/\/genderedintelligence.co.uk\/support\/trans-youth\/resources<\/a><\/p>\n

Support for trans masculine people<\/span><\/p>\n

http:\/\/www.tmsauk.org\/<\/a><\/p>\n

Don’t forget to follow us on Twitter @UoGEquality<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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