I had never really given mental health a thought growing up. I hadn\u2019t considered how it was for the person dealing with the illness and how it affects them daily and for the future. I hadn\u2019t thought about how it would be to support someone, anyone (a family member, a partner, a friend). The reason, and I think it would be the same for anyone, is that I had never met anyone that I knew was suffering with mental health conditions.<\/p>\n
Recently, that changed. I have learned an incredible amount as 2 years ago I met my partner who has depression. I knew about it very early on because she told me and was very open about it. I thought, being a \u2018fixer\u2019 of problems that being supportive, talking things through and trying to be logical and practical about the way she thought and how she felt would alleviate what she feels and basically make it all better\u2026 Yeah, that doesn\u2019t work. Unfortunately.<\/p>\n
I\u2019ve had to accept that I can\u2019t fix it, which for me has been really hard to do. It feels like a failure on my part that I can\u2019t do anything. It makes me feel helpless and frustrated that I can\u2019t take away the pain that the person I love feels. What I didn\u2019t understand, or what I may not have appreciated is with depression and other mental health issues is that it can feel like there is no escape. I\u2019m a very sporty person and take training seriously so occasionally have injuries that need looking after. I can deal with those in the knowledge that it might be 2 weeks, 4 weeks or longer but at the end it will be alright. With depression, it\u2019s very real thoughts being repeated. Again\u2026.and again\u2026.and again\u2026..and again, and they\u2019re not the nice kind. It looks like there is no way out and watching it drain the energy out of someone is hard to see.<\/p>\n
Thankfully, we have become a lot better at talking about how we both feel. It can\u2019t be overstated how important it is to be honest with how you feel. Whether you are the one suffering or the person providing support. Supporting someone with mental health issues can be tiring, stressful, upsetting and confusing. Even more so for that person as they\u2019re trying to understand what they feel themselves. But, at the same time seeing the person you care about come out the other side of a particular hard time is the complete opposite.<\/p>\n
Personally, I thought that I shouldn\u2019t voice what I felt. Why does it matter how I feel when I\u2019m trying to help someone with depression? Equally, she thought I can\u2019t say how I really feel he has too much going on right now. After speaking about it, we both found that we just wanted to know the other is ok. We both just use a simple rating scale 1-10 of how we feel and if we can put a reason behind that number. But, if we can\u2019t its ok. It\u2019s fine to just feel good or bad without a particular reason.<\/p>\n
I\u2019ve found that just being with my partner in the bad times is what\u2019s needed. I don\u2019t need to do anything, or say anything (which can be hard\u2026.I talk, a lot!), she just needs me by her side to help her through. I\u2019m happy to say for a long time now, the down times are not as regular as they used to be.<\/p>\n
Sometimes the little simple things can be the most helpful.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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