The fear of not having enough can be a very powerful\ninfluence on our behaviour. I notice it with time. My anxiety about not having\nenough time leads me to try to get ahead – to make myself late by trying to get\none more job done – which often makes me rushed and then unable to really enter\ninto or enjoy the thing I should be doing. Or maybe I stay late, trying to get\nthrough unending list – and then I get worn out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Sometimes our fear is not having enough energy – so rather\nthan taking a rest we push on, facing down our anxiety, and depleting our\nresources. Sometimes it\u2019s not having enough money – which may be a real issue,\nor may be a hang over from what we were\ntaught by our parents – so we\u2019re constantly on the lookout for ways to save\nmoney – like the Amazon order I put in today, saving on the delivery cost but\ncausing me the anxiety of waiting for the thing I need to arrive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Sometimes the underlying is not having enough love – so we\nmay desperately seek love and approval in unhelpful ways, and even fashion our\nwhole life around the search for this need we have deep inside us.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The story we\u2019ve just heard has something to say about the\nfear of not having enough. The disciples are at a loose end, so they go back to\nwhat they know – fishing. But despite their best efforts, they fish all night and\ncatch nothing – as they tell, perhaps rather irritably, to the stranger on the\nshore. When they are then given the direction to try again, they could have\nrefused – just cracked on doing things their way – trying again that night. But\nthey do as Jesus says, and now they take in a huge catch.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
You have a strong sense that this is not just about a miracle\nshowing that Jesus is alive – John tells this story because he wants us to\nunderstand something about trust, and responding to Jesus, and what that makes\npossible. Even after a whole night fishing – even when our time and energy and\nhope have completely run out – even then, and maybe especially then, turning to\nJesus can make all the difference.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The second part of the story takes this further. It is not so\nlong since Peter has denied three times that he even knew Jesus. He is very\naware that he has failed – he clearly does not have enough courage, or enough reliability,\nto be the \u2018rock\u2019 – the leader that Jesus said he would be. But Jesus asks him\nthree questions, focussing just on the love which Jesus knows is in his heart.\nThat is enough. He may sometimes fail to trust Jesus – but Jesus trusts him. So\nhe receives again the call – \u2018feed my sheep\u2019 – and he hears a promise – not an\neasy one – that one day he will have the courage and faith to follow Jesus in\nthe way of the cross.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
A few years ago I came back from a long retreat with a new\nunderstanding. I suddenly felt less responsible for everything – and especially\nfor money. I started said to Sarah, when issues came up, \u2018It\u2019s all Jesus\u2019s\nmoney\u2019 – which was probably very\nannoying, and could be very simplistic and unhelpful – and is easier to say if\nyou\u2019re not on the breadline. But I know that the fear of not having enough in\nthat way is no longer mine to hold. Next I think I need to work on time\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I wonder what fears of \u2018not having enough\u2019 colour your life?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Lord, you know fears we have about not having enough – enough\nenergy or time, enough money, enough love – whatever they might be\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Help us to learn to bring those fears to you, and to learn to\ntrust you in a deeper way\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n
We pray for those whose needs are very immediate and very\nreal\u2026 those on the other side of the world, and those we know\u2026 May we, like\nPeter, be part of the way that you meet and help people in their need\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n
We thank you, Lord, that however we see ourselves, you love\nus & trust us to be your people for the world. Help us to live out your\nbelief in us\u2026<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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