Stopping first

When I have something that is really challenging to do, I have a tendency to put it off – to procrastinate. I don’t really get a sense of urgency until it really is urgent. I don’t think that Jesus was like that. You can hear a sense of urgency in lots of things he says and does – ‘Repent – turn around – now is the time, I must go on’.

So it’s interesting that immediately after his baptism by John in the River Jordan, a sort of commissioning by God for the work he would do, Jesus goes into the wilderness for 40 days. When we think about his time in the desert, we often focus on his temptation. But I wonder if there was more going on. Jesus was led by the Spirit into a place of space, and ongoing encounter with God.

He would have had time to reflect on the words he heard as he came up out of the river: ‘You are my Son, who I love; with you I am well pleased.’ An incredibly deep affirmation of God’s love for him – an understanding that he took into his very bones – one that would be very important as he faced challenge and isolation in the years to come.

He would have experienced the beauty and immensity of creation – the wide desert sky, the blazing stars, the sound of tiny insects. The wilderness is a place where ego is challenged, and we are forced to acknowledge that we are just a small part of something immense.

He would have had inner space to be with his Father, away from all the noise and distraction of daily life.

And yes, he would also have had plenty of time to be aware of his deepest fears and uncertainties – the ‘temptations’ we’re told about.

The temptation to turn stones into bread – the fear of not having the resources – the strength and energy – for all that he must do.

The temptation to make a great show of being rescued from a fall from the temple – would people listen? Would they take any notice of him?

The temptation to make a pact with the devil and bypass the challenge and tragedy ahead. Nothing is so frightening for us as letting go of control as we face the future.

Jesus faced his fears and his temptations from a place of trust and awareness, knowing that he was utterly loved by one who would provide what he needed, who would draw people to him, and who holds the whole of creation in his care.

We were at an event on Saturday where someone I often talk about, Brian Draper, was speaking. He offers some wisdom which I think connects with this story of Jesus in the wilderness.

He says that before we start doing anything – before any encounter or challenging situation, we too can find a space to stop. To take a breath. To say ‘Here I am’. To remember that we too are deeply loved by God. To be aware of the world around us. To be open to God’s life within us.

And in that time of stopping and breathing we can then acknowledge our fears and our temptations. Our fear that we will not be enough and we will not have enough. The shouting of our ego, wanting to be noticed. The terror of not being in control.

But we will face these fears and temptations from a different place. We have reconnected with the truth that we are God’s precious children, and our life is a response to his call, and success does not depend on us. We are aware that we – like all of creation – are held in the loving hand of our heavenly father. We can breathe out fear… and breath in trust, and be ready, like Jesus, for whatever lies ahead.

So you might like to stop for a moment, and breathe…

Remember that God says to each of us, ‘You are my daughter, who I love, you are my son, who I love, I delight in you.’

Feel your place in the universe – your feet planted in this spot, on this earth, on this planet as it spins in space – and allow your chattering ego to become quiet.

We offer our life as a response to God’s call – and trust him for all that follows.

And now held in this love, we can acknowledge our fears and anxieties.

We breathe out our fear… And we breathe in trust for all that lies ahead..

We remember that we – like all of creation – are held, and will always be held, in God’s love.